Killer Gingerbread Man Statues
It turns out that those cute little gingerbread man cookies don't actually enjoy being eaten and have finally snapped, escaped from the baking sheet in the oven, and gone on a murderous holiday rampage in the kitchen armed with sharpened candy canes and even a nail gun! Yep, these cool new Killer Gingerbread Man Statues, inspired by the murderous little ones in the delightful holiday movie classic Krampus, are festive / terrifying handcrafted figurines to decoratively place around the home to remind you to keep the spirit of Christmas alive or risk the wrath of Krampus stuffing you into his bag and then dragging you off to Hell... and there's nothing Santa Claus can do to save you!
Hmm... Maybe it's time to take another look at this Santa Claus fellow. He's this overly jolly man who wants to break into every single home in the world in one night, track chimney soot all over everyone's carpets from the boots he didn't take off, and then give away counterfeit branded toys made by enslaved elves in a tax-evading workshop / sweatshop on the North Pole that is spewing so much unregulated, toxic pollution into the atmosphere that it is the leading cause of the melting ice cap... right!? But somehow Ebenezer Scrooge, The Grinch, and Krampus are the bad guys around the holidays? Ebenezer was actually a hardworking, job-providing, and energy-conscious citizen of well-deserved success who just made one terrible hiring decision. Nobody forced the always complaining and poor with money Bob Cratchit to take a great job in the middle of downtown London. There's other jobs, but no, Bob wants to bring down company morale and burn coal all day instead. Then there's the poor bullied Grinch who just wanted to be left alone to enjoy some peace and quiet as far away from the loud, obnoxious, and always celebrating lunatic WHO neighbors as possible. And now Gruss Vom Krampus and his legion of killer gingerbread beings who have the hardest task of all, playing judge, jury, and executioner to all the naughty ones worldwide. Somebody has to deal with it. Yep, these are the true heroes of the holidays! Merry Christmas! 🎄🔪😉
PS: That weird snitching shelf elf doesn't stand a chance around these killer holiday decorations either.
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