I Love Shoplifting Tote Bag

When I see fully grown adults walking through stores with children's backpacks on (not in the city... people who drove to a store in the suburbs), I just assume they're either shoplifting, dangerous, or just want attention. I can't even imagine why anyone would need to be carrying a large bag of stuff on their backs just to walk through a Walmart. Leave the bag in the car. I'm sure you'll be able to survive 20 minutes without immediate access to a water bottle, laptop, security blanket, therapy cat, or whatever else is in there. You're not trekking across an apocalyptic wasteland carrying everything you own on your back. You're not a superhero keeping their costume ready to go just in case a super villain appears. You just look like a dork.

Anyways, let's get back to shoplifting and bags.

This cool new I ❤️ Shoplifting Tote Bag is sure to cause a few double-takes and / or closer looks from security guards as you shop. Lots of stores encourage bringing your own tote bag now and perhaps you do love to shoplift on the side, so this fun bag makes a strong personal statement about yourself... you love the environment and free stuff. It's perfect for shopping, the workplace, the gym, school, actual shoplifting (no would ever think you meant it!), and more. Available in two sizes, depending on the amount of loot you will need to move around.

Seriously, adults.... enough with the backpacks. It triggers me.

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