Tactical Sammich - Survival Sandwich
With all these natural disasters, lunatic terrorists, nuclear emergencies, and mad scientists messing around with accidental zombie-producing vaccines, serums and whatnots, it's probably a good idea to keep a few of these cool new Tactical Sammiches on hand. These life-saving survival sandwiches each have a shelf life of 2 years, come in Pepperoni or Honey BBQ Beef and with only 300 calories each, won't fatten you up enough for a hungry alien to enjoy. So during the next apocalypse, while everyone else is eating rotten scraps from the endless suburban wasteland of burning fast food restaurants, trying to re-hydrate their survival bags of beef powder in radiated water, or running from desperate cannibals, you'll be safely kicking back in your converted battle cruiser/car and chowing down on a tasty sandwich.
