Don't you just hate it when you scorch your weenie on the grill? Well, those days of burnt and blackened weiners are over. You need to get a cool new Roast My Weenie - Stainless Steel Hot Dog Cooker ($15).

Yes, nothing will class up your shiny new BBQ grill better than this clever, stainless steel, anatomically correct, man-shaped, stick figure roasting tool that helps keep your hot dog up and off the grill. Simply fire up your grill, grab a hot dog or sausage, and without cringing, slide it over the man's front appendage. In addition to his powerful phallic metallic kabob, his arms can also be used to roast peppers, mushrooms, etc. and his base can be custom cut to hold a name, favorite team name or even a design.

Sure, the Roast My Weenie at first glance is a shocking item to behold, but you will soon realize just how functional, clever and funny it truly is. It would definitely make the perfect novelty gift for just the right person and if you had a few of them all lined up on the grill at tailgating parties it would just be hilarious. It can also support most types of sausages (greasy flare-ups ought to be interesting), but it may experience a load-bearing disfunction and become droopy and flacid when working with foot longs. If this happens, simply attach another Roast My Weenie to the other end...