Fangs of the Vampire Cast Iron Bottle Opener

October 15, 2013

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Only vampires are properly equipped to open a beer bottle with their teeth (and shotgun beer cans by biting them), but since these fashionable blood-suckers are quickly going extinct because of spontaneous combustion in the sunlight, getting staked through the heart by angry villagers, and a bad spooky castle real estate market, this cool new Fangs of the Vampire Cast Iron Bottle Opener will have to do.

This creepy, wall-mountable bottle opener replicates the bloody fangs of a thirsty vampire out of heavy-duty cast iron. Just insert a bottle, rip off the cap, and reminisce about the good old days when the ominous glowing eyes peering into your home was just Dracula with a case of beer and not just another boring, non-transforming vampire bat.

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Fangs of the Vampire Cast Iron Bottle Opener