Dr. Frybrain's Pumpkin Embalmer
If you happen to carve up your pumpkins into hideous Jack O'lanterns too early, chances are they'll shrivel, rot and decompose before they can frighten or get smashed into pulpy bits by evil little trick-or-treaters on Halloween. The solution to keep your ghoulish gourds from turning to mush and looking their best for longer is to simply treat them with the cool new Dr. Dr. Frybrain's Pumpkin Embalmer. This patent pending concoction keeps pumpkins crisp and firm by removing moisture, which causes mold and mildew, increases the pH to reduce acidity, slows the growth of bacteria to prevent rotting and repels hungry bugs and rodents too. Although a pumpkin's short life is sort of sad, you'll never know it when their mutilated body has been transformed into a well-preserved grinning face.