Need help with your nuts? Well, you need the industrial-strength Hillary Clinton Nutcracker ($27) with stainless steel thighs! Yes that's right, this Presidential hopeful can crack open the toughest nuts that stand in her way. Simply place your nut between her thighs, give her legs a nice firm squeeze and CRACK!!! a perfectly pulverized nut. A great gift for Democrats or Republicans, because it sure beats a BUSHwhacker.

• Functional, plastic nutcracker with stainless steel teeth secured inside upper inner thighs to grip and crack nuts in their shell
• Hillary Nutcracker will stand upright
• Internal stainless steel components and spring
• Stands Nine inches tall!